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“Separation Desolation- Chapter 02”
Warning: Book II gets very, very dark in places. It may be disturbing to some readers. Please know that it was not done gratuitously. Please be aware that this story is plot driven and sex is not the central focus.
Note 1: The title pretty much describes the tone of this story. For those who are wondering — there is no way I could title the first story Book I without tipping my hand there would be a Book II.
Note 2: In another fairly radical departure from my norm, Book II has been written in the voices of Lissy and Kara. Kara’s parts are not written by me. It’s the first time I’ve done a story with a partner. The other writer (TOW) brought a ton of skill and passion to the effort. Book II is far better for the efforts of TOW. The identity of TOW will be revealed at the end of the story — but let me say it here. Thank you so much!!
It’s highly recommended you read Book I in its entirety. I hope you enjoy the chapter. ~ AVL ~
** November 15th **
The disastrous date with Becky was in the rear view mirror but not forgotten. I was still working on getting up the nerve to call her and arrange another. I had absolutely no clue how she would respond if asked, though it did give me a bit of hope that she seemed interested if things didn’t work out with you-know-who.
The other thing on my mind was Bette. Obviously, right? In fact, the crazy notion that flitted through my mind one day was part of my hang up with Becky was how close the name was to Bette. Okay look, it’s nuts. I know this. I’m just asking for a little slack; it hasn’t been easy, nor has it been much fun.
I think I overreacted to seeing Bette. Is it okay to admit that?? For all that needed to get fixed when I started seeing her, she helped me. I know I had those idiotic fleeting thoughts about her. Okay wait… not that idiotic. She is pretty. She also totally violated my privacy. And how much… or do I… lay the blame for that on Kara? Am I making sense here?
Try and follow me. I didn’t know Kara had a Domme, let alone that it was Bette/Alexis. If she had called Kara, would Kara have loved me so much that she would do what Alexis/Bette suggested even if she totally hated her?
I’m totally confused here. Anyway, let me get to what’s been happening.
You’re probably wondering why I’m rambling about Becky, Bette and Kara. Well, maybe not so much my blonde.
I got a call on Wednesday (the 13th) from Barb of all people. I didn’t recognize the number on my caller ID.
“Is this Lissy?”
“Yes, who’s this?”
“Lissy, it’s Barb Romano.” Ice in my veins; I mean – I literally shivered. “It’s totally awkward calling you, I know.” Ya think, sister? “It’s about Kara.” I started to cry. “No! No, Lissy, she’s… oh my god. At least as far as I know she’s okay.” At least? That’s supposed to make me feel better? “Kara has been staying with Carole and me since… um, for most of… just about all of the time since the two of you… split.” WHAT!
“If I hear you right, she hasn’t been living in her condo. What else… is she… does she still have her job? Is she all right?” I had no clue what to ask. “I’m sorry, Barb. You calling is enough of a shock as it is. You obviously have a reason to call. What is it that you… want?” I had to think about that last word. I heard a sigh.
“I’m not sure exactly. She’s been sleeping on the couch in our living room. Work has been ALL she’s done for over three months now. Carole wants… has wanted me to get… tell her to leave but…” She started to cry. Barb’s a realtor. She could be anywhere. I was at work.
“Barb! What do you want me to do? Should I call her at work? Do you know if she still has a job? Tell me something… please!” I didn’t mean it to come out as harsh as I felt it was. Whatever; it is what it is. I love her — Kara that is. If something’s wrong just tell me, right?
“That’s the thing, Lissy. I’m not sure what exactly to tell you to do — let alone what to tell you Kara is…” She paused. “I have NO clue what’s happened to her, Lissy. It feels like to me that she’s either totally fallen apart or is very close to doing so. And I can’t be sure I’m right on either count. It’s been a long time, relatively speaking, since we were close enough for me to know every little thing about her.” I totally get what you mean – and it’s only been a few months.
“Anything else you want to add, Barb?” To my surprise, she started to cry.
When she stopped, she said, “I know you love her, Lissy.” A long pause followed. “I did — once.” Another pause. “It’s been tough having her here.” Another pause. “Maybe I shouldn’t tell you this — but it may give you a clue about what I think her m… emotional state is. I teased her on her birthday — told her we should go out for dinner and drinks. And that we should find her someone to… fix what ailed her.” I’ll put the final shovel of dirt of your grave, canlı bahis şirketleri you bitch! “She wouldn’t have any of it.” I started to cry. “She told me she was teasing.” Yeah — more crying. “She loves you, Lissy. I don’t know what’s going on; why she’s acting like she has been… is. I have my Carole to think about. I hope you can understand.” I nodded — and took a deep breath.
“Okay, Barb. Thanks. I’m not sure if this is enough to get the ball rolling but… oh hell, I don’t know. Your phone call is enough of a shock; let alone what you’ve told me. Let me see if I can figure something out. Can I call you if I need to?”
“Yeah, of course you can. She… Kara’s got clothes here and some other stuff. It’s been a little while but I’ll know if she comes back. Neither of us can be here day and night with our jobs and the like, but I’ll do the best I can, okay?”
I nodded. “That’s more than okay, Barb. Thank you — for the call and for all you’ve done for her. Please thank Carole too. Let me say goodbye for now.”
“Lissy, thanks for taking the call. I’d worried about it for a few days. I wa… after… um, well, you know — this wasn’t the easiest thing in the world to do.” I smiled and nodded. She spoke the truth.
“That was then; this is now. We have a common interest — Kara. You loved her; I do. Thank you. Talk… um, goodbye.”
Anyway, I’d stewed for a couple of days about what to do. Kara is an adult. I love her but we’re not seeing each other anymore. I pretty much don’t have any right to butt into her life. And if something happened to her because I didn’t do something, I’m not sure I could live with myself.
But what exactly; how much -and when? It was confounding and it made work even more pedestrian than normal.
The girls had Friday night off. We were going to have dinner and see ‘The Counselor.’ Brad Pitt was why. No, it wasn’t me. The girls wanted to see him. I teased them about it.
“Mom, we may be gay but he’s cute.” I wish we could get June to express her opinions once in a while. “And don’t forget that Cameron Diaz and Penelope Cruz are both in the movie.” Not to worry honey, I won’t.
Rach wanted to have dinner at ‘my restaurant.’ June teased her unmercifully. My daughter looked to me for help.
I held up the specials flyer and said, “It was their 20th anniversary last month. You’re young. If you save up your money, maybe the owners will be ready to retire and you can buy the place.” I got a pout and storm clouds for a response.
June gave her honey a kiss and said, “I’ll be your partner and your bartender.” I had to laugh. “Hey wait; Lissy, you’re a banker. You’ll give us a loan to help buy the place, right?” Her eyes twinkled as she spoke.
“Will the two of you stop? I was only kidding. You’re both just being mean.” She’s so sensitive.
Dinner was great; the movie was pretty darn good actually. I think. I admit my mind wandered, thinking about what to do about Kara. I had at little at dinner as well, but the back and forth with the kids kept me engaged. I had two hours to be in my head — it was a busy place. We headed home. Someone noticed.
“What’s bothering you, Lissy? You’ve been awfully quiet for most of the night.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed. Mom, are you okay? Is something wrong? Is it about JR and Andi?” I don’t know what else to do but tell them… something.
“Would it be okay if I wait till we get home? I promise we can talk then.” It was. We did. We all had our potty breaks and our favorite beverage in hand and were comfy in the family room.
“First off, I stayed downtown and had dinner Halloween night. I absolutely couldn’t believe it when Bette said hello.”
“Are you serious?” All I could do was nod.
“No one was more shocked than me. More than anything, Bette was stunned that Kara and I weren’t together anymore.”
“What did you say about that?”
“I wasn’t very pleasant, that’s for sure. It didn’t take her too long to slink away.” I shook my head. “I was pretty shaken. I had my server wrap my dinner, headed to the train, and came home. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. I got a surprise call on Wednesday from someone Kara used to date. Her name is Barb; she called, concerned about Kara. She wasn’t very clear, but it was obvious something’s up with her. And I don’t know what the hell to do to help her.”
“Why the fuck don’t you just call her, Mom? This is just stupid. You were all over me to call June when she went home. It’s time you take your own advice. Call her!” June looked at Rach and shook her head.
“Honey, it’s not quite that simple. Your Mom could tell you to call me. She’s your Mom. Kara is an adult.” Rach turned and glared. “Oh stop. I know; we are too. But she’s way older than us. Your Mom is… I think she’s torn.” She smiled at me. “Tell me if I’m right, Lissy. You want to wrap your hands around her neck. And you want canlı kaçak iddaa to kiss her for a week.”
I had to laugh. I thought that summed it up perfectly — maybe even better than I could have said it.
“Yeah thanks, June. That pretty much sums it up.” I looked at my daughter and shrugged. “She’s an adult, honey. June’s right. I may love her but we’re not in a relationship right now. Barb made the call because she cares about Kara and wanted to let me know she felt something was wrong.” I better tell them the rest of it. “The other thing she told me was that Kara has been living with them; sleeping on their living room sofa.” June bounded off the couch.
“That’s just not right, Lissy. Something is really wrong with her.” She looked at my kid. I don’t know what it was but a look passed between the two of them.
“I know. All I know right now is that Bette was shocked when I told her we’d broken up. And Barb has told me what she knows about Kara. I won’t lie; that Kara isn’t living in her condo doesn’t come as a complete surprise. I haven’t been back there since I dropped her off after we got back from our Michigan weekend. That’s the last time I saw her. At least I think it was.”
“Think? What do you mean think?” Damn me and my mouth! I shrugged.
“I think I saw her at the Dunkin Donuts near my office on her birthday. I’m not sure; it was just for a second.” I shrugged. “The eyes; I know those eyes.” I could feel a cry coming. I took a sip of my wine to give myself a second to recover. I looked at each of them. “I know it was her. I’m kidding myself if I say otherwise. I saw the shock and panic in her eyes in the instant we made contact.” My heart is losing the tears battle. “I’m dying a little inside every damn day. And she’s not helping either. She hasn’t made any effort to contact me.” I wiped my eyes. “I have to think that what I saw in her eyes was….” I laughed and shook my head. “She was stalking me and got caught.”
“Would it be okay if I share a few things, Lissy?” June shrugged and continued, “The truth is — they’re nothing more than guesses.” I didn’t care what they were; at this point I was open to anything, no matter how farfetched it might be.
“Yeah, of course, please do.” I shrugged. “What can it hurt? Fire away.”
“She loves you, Lissy. She’s hurting just as badly as you are. Stalking you is her way of touching you. What you saw in her eyes is how much she loves you, misses you, needs you. She’s as scared as you are. She’s every bit as desperate to make things right as you are. She’s every bit as scared that she’s lost you as you are. She’s every bit as anxious about reaching out to you and every bit as afraid to do so as you are. You have to make this right, Mom. Please, call her.”
There was no way to argue with a single word June said. I looked from one to the other, looked down at my wine, took a sip, stood, and said, “Thank you both. It’s been great to be with you both again.” I smiled. “Thank you for letting me share.” I looked at my kid. “It’s not real easy to do it with my child.” I almost said my youngest child but that wouldn’t have been fair to either of them. I’m probably prejudiced but they’re both mature beyond their years.
After good nights had been said and I was in bed, I thought about the events and conversations of the last few days. There was no good reason not to call Kara — other than fear. But fear of what? Fear of the unknown was one thing; fear of invading her space was another. How much room do I have to invade the space of someone I absolutely love with every damn last bit of me?
I reached for the phone on the nightstand. My hand shook as I scrolled down the list to her name. ‘My Kara’ was how I had her listed. My Kara indeed.
We giggled as we kissed; you tried to roll us so that you were on top; so did I. Older and taller beats younger and fit.
“What are you going to do to me tonight, baby?”
“I’m going to call you and find out why you’re not here. Find out what’s going on with you.” I kissed you and said, “I can’t sleep not knowing whether you’re okay, lover.” Gray eyes shot dark storm clouds at me.
“We’re not that different, baby. This is miserable for both of us. But it’s something we have to go through. You need to figure out how to forgive me and I have to figure out how to beat these demons of mine.” You smiled that smile; it broke my heart again. “Tonight, just for tonight, will you be happy just making love to me?” A hand slipped to my ass and pushed. I felt your hips rise. You broke the kiss and breathed, “Fuck me, baby. Remind me why I’m your one and only.”
I sobbed. I’m not sure I’ve ever cried so hard in my life. I swear to god I was asleep. I have no idea how I am able to write this kind of detail about what I only think happened. The crying thing happened in the middle of the night; it woke me up. It’s terrifying to have someone you care so much about be this much a part of your canlı kaçak bahis life and not be part of your life.
Is a phone call enough to make it right? It wasn’t with Barb — though it was more than a start. Was that a template for what to do with my Kara? Barb is to Kara what dusk is to… oh god. Forget the analogies; there is nothing to compare.
I yawned, hugged the pillow, shivered, and eventually sleep took me.
** November 15th **
Rachel and June
We were in bed Friday night after saying goodnight to Mom, face to face, cuddling.
“I think I may know how to help your Mother, baby.”
“I’m going to call Kim tomorrow. Give her an idea of what may be going on with Kara. I think maybe Shade needs to be brought in to help. This Alexis was Kara’s domme; maybe Shade knew her — or knew someone who knew her. I bet that community is small enough that people often know each other. I just don’t think Lissy is going to call. I think it’s silly but I can’t stand to see her hurting as badly as she is.”
“I feel bad for my Mom, lover. It’s not much fun to say this, but she didn’t mope around like this when my Dad died.” I squirmed against the warm body of the woman I love. “Can we please make love now, miss?” I felt your smile.
“Yes of course.” You pushed your leg between mine and rolled me to my back. “I think you need to be thoroughly taken, pet; how about you?” I shivered, nodded and kissed you.
** November 16th **
We’d had an early breakfast, the girls had gone downtown to work, and I was doing laundry. Sounds like a pretty exciting start to my weekend huh? I was considering a major realignment of my undies drawer when my phone rang. Another call from someone I didn’t know. UGH!
“Is this Lissy Stone?” I think I know this voice… but from where?
“Yes it is; who’s this please?”
“We only met once, Lissy, so you may not remember me. It’s Shade Nguyen. Destiny and I met you and Kara downtown on a Saturday night a couple of months ago.” I remember it all too well. “Are you busy?” I smiled.
“No, Shade, I’m not. How have you two been?” There was a bit of hesitation.
“We’re both very well, thank you. Destiny is putting the finishing touches on a Thanksgiving get together we do for my office and sales staff. But that’s not why I’m calling. I hope I’m not interfering too much in your personal affairs, Lissy, but it’s come to my attention you and Kara aren’t seeing each other anymore.” June’s behind this; I just know it.
“Well, it’s not my favorite subject in the world, but no, unfortunately we’re not. Is that why you called?”
“I heard a few things about someone who calls herself a domme and goes by the name of Alexis. She’s despicable. The word is out about her; it’s my hope that she has a hard time recruiting new submissives. It seems that you and Kara know of her. I’m calling to offer whatever help I can be – if you’d be interested in having me help you that is.”
“I don’t know what to say, Shade. I’m grateful for your call and your offer but I don’t know how you can help. I don’t know much about what’s going on with Kara. She’s an adult and her life is her own business.”
“Lissy, it may not be enjoyable, but if you would share a few facts about what happened, maybe I can fill in some of the cracks about what may be going on. Also, what you tell me might help me determine where I might be able to help.”
A woman of such small stature; her voice was remarkably self-assured. I felt like I needed to see where this might go.
“Okay, Shade, what exactly would help you? And maybe could you share a little of how you think you could be of help.”
A soft laugh. “Verbal jousting; I like it! I think I’ll have a better idea of how I’ll be able to help after if I can get some idea of what happened and what’s going on with Kara now. I acknowledge that it won’t be easy or fun to share details with a stranger.” Got that right! “But if you’ll try, I’ll do my best as well. Does that sound fair?”
I have to remember this woman sells insurance for a living. Maybe that’s why I feel like I’m being sold something.
“We were on a short vacation in Michigan. It was Sunday; we were due to leave for home in less than two hours.” I continued on with the story of that miserable day. Shade let me go on without interrupting — for which I was grateful. When I finished, it took a few seconds for her to respond.
“It was so horribly wrong for Bette to do what she did, Lissy. It’s a terrible shame that her gross professional misconduct turned a beautiful relationship on its ear.” I had to blink back tears. “Am I correct in surmising that you haven’t seen or spoken to Kara since that miserable Sunday afternoon?” Oh god, I don’t know if I can do this!!
“I saw her on her birthday, Shade. It was only for a second. I got the feeling she was stalking me. The look in her eyes was sheer panic when we made eye contact. I…” I couldn’t go on.
“Please take your time, Lissy. Your pain is palpable. When you can, please give me any other information you have about what’s going on with her now. I was told that someone she knows called the other day.” Okay, enough!
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