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Ok nobody under eighteen years of age, there is a tiny bit of incest sort of in the story. It’s not quite BTB or RAAC either. Just my typical insanity, fantasy up and over the top. i just wanted a bit of a fun read, so tongues firmly in cheek read away. It is a fantasy, so you have been warned. Try to be civil in your comments. It’s not easy being crazy.
I was married to the best woman in the world. She was built like a penthouse pet, had long flowing glossy black hair, her tits were huge and her ass nice and shapely, her eyes looked into my soul and her lyrical voice alone could make me hard as a rock.
One day, my car broke down on the way to work. I called in, there was nothing important going on, so I took the day off to get the old jalopy fixed. Trip-A finally got there an hour later, and as luck would have it, was able to drop me at my house before dropping off the car at the shop. I walked in, set my keys down. The house was quiet, but I expected there would not be anyone else there.
My wife Mindi worked until three, to be home with the kids, so I figured I was alone. I was texting my secretary a message when I heard a thumping and a moaning like in pain. I would soon find out the pain was reserved for me.
I crept up the stairs, I put the cell on video, in case I needed proof of a burglary. My gun was in my nightstand, loaded and ready, but I have kids, so I have a trigger lock. I had the key in hand.
I wasn’t even thinking about that it could be my wife Mindi fucking in my bed. The thought never even occurred to me. I trusted her implicitly. I never thought Mindi would ever cheat on me.
Whoever it was was under the covers. I set up the phone to record everything, and pushed record. I crept up to the bed.
I grabbed the covers and pulled with all my might.
There before me was the love of my life Mindi being drilled from behind, it looked like he was in her tight little ass. My best friend…well not anymore…was drilling with his dick. He looked at me and she looked over at me and they both screamed at the same time. Nothing like teamwork.
“Jack, what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at work!” Mindi wailed.
“I’m watching my best friend fucking my beautiful wife in her cheating ass. The one you denied me time and time again. Does Tina know what you do with my slut here Mike, you backstabbing piece of shit? I’ll have to have a little talk with her, to bring her up to speed.” I was beyond livid. My fists were shaking.
Now, I’m five-ten, my former best friend Mike is six foot three, and close to three hundred pounds. He is bigger than me, and taller than me, and has at least a five inch reach on me. However, I was nuclear mad. I was enraged. I saw red, like a bull. Usually, I am an easy going fellow. But not today. Today I let the murderous rampage feelings flow through my veins like gasoline on a fire.
I had never been much of a fighter. What I was, was a gymnast. I could still do a hundred pull ups without breaking a sweat, and one hand pushups were no problem. I did a hundred sit ups a day, and ran four or five miles before I went to my job. I was the site inspector for a large general contractor. I had ten jobs a day to cover. I never got a chance to sit down, and I frequently skipped lunch to get my job done. I had occasionally run into subcontractors who were cheating on the job. I had to stand up for myself and the company. Fist fights were very rare, but they did happen. I never lost. I’m Irish, and truth be told, we Irish kinda like a good fight now and then. All right, we LOVE a good knock down, drag out, barnburner, fist fight. I have been in lots of little attitude adjustments. I hate to admit it, but I do enjoy the fights.
So I actually was looking forward to a good fight. Mike did not disappoint me. He came at me swinging and kicking, and he caught me off guard as he nailed my chin. I flew back, but it was like muscle memory. I did a backflip to a reverse somersault. I got up and charged the fucking dirty bastard. I then grabbed the top of the door frame where it meets the wall. Not much purchase. There was maybe half an inch for my fingertips, but it was enough to let me do a kick out, right into his chest with my steel tip work boots. I went down flat, but I rolled and was back up in a second. He visited the wall going backwards, then the window, then he flew out onto the roof and then headed for the rose bushes and cobblestone walkway down below. That was going to leave a mark. I heard a scream like a little girl!
I turned around and there was my darling wife, about to hit a homerun with my skull. She was already swinging the bat, but I saw her plan, and dropped down quickly. Swing and a miss! She had really put her back into it, and she spun out of control, and wound up following her naked lover right out the window! I couldn’t believe it, as I saw her naked ass go off the end of the roof! I was just amazed by this turn of events. I heard ataşehir escort her land right on top of her lover in the rose bushes. How romantic! Two lovers in Rose bushes. Anyone who knows anything about roses, knows they have tons of painfully sharp thorns on the stems. Falling into the rose bushes stark naked must have been a truly painful and bloody experience. Two seconds later there was much cursing and screaming in the flower bed. I guess neither one had died. Oh well. Wishes don’t always come true.
I couldn’t hold back. I was laughing so hard. I could not have thrown her cunt out that window. I don’t hit or hurt women. But she managed to do it herself and get even for me! I’ll have to thank her if she lives! I almost peed my pants. I was laughing so hard. I thought it was hysterical.
I heard the sirens in the distance. I knew that I was going to face angry cops, so I quickly emailed the recording of the entire encounter to everyone in my phone. My folks, her folks, all friends. Even my credit card companies would be getting a truly delightful little video. I then made a copy to the cloud, and our smart TV. I went to the living room and started up the playback for the cops and me. They would be here soon. There they were, my ex-best friend and cheating slut wife, naked, in crisp clean video, first him, then my future-ex-wife twirling out the window after him.
I made a phone call to my father. “Dad, I’ve got some trouble with the wife here. I may be arrested. Could you please pick up the kids and take care of them please? I might need bail money later on, and I definitely need a divorce attorney… I don’t know dad, I caught the bitch cheating. I sent you a video if you want to see how I handled it. No, I didn’t kill either one…Yet! No, I never laid a hand on her. She tried to brain me with my baseball bat, but she struck out, but good…Yeah, right out of the window! I have to go, Dad. Cops are here… Love you too. Give Mom a kiss for me, and don’t give the kids too much sugar…Dad, you spoil them rotten… See you soon… Bye.” I thought how I was going to minimize the hurt my two kids were going to experience. One thing at a time. I was still somewhat giddy at this turn of events.
I packed a bag of my clothes for a couple of days, and got some clothes for Debbie and Jason. A terrible idea ran through my mind… Were the children even mine?
I did not know the depth of her depravity. I had no idea how long it was going on. He was fucking her bareback, so I had to assume the worst.
My rational brain said both kids looked like me, so they probably were mine biologically. It really didn’t matter, I was their dad, and I would always be there for them no matter what.
I knew Mindi felt the same way – or did I? Cheating makes you review the entire time you were together in a totally new light. But if I had to guess, I thought Mindi felt exactly the same about our children. Me, obviously she did not give a shit about me. Not the way she callously hurt me.
The boys in blue, actually in black, were in no mood. They were going to arrest me for the falling naked people. Apparently it’s against the law to throw cheaters out the window.
“Are you Jack McNamara?”
“Yes, sir I am Jack.”
“Sir, did you throw two people out of the window? You might have killed them! And they are naked!” The one cop was just barely containing his laughter. He tried to act professional. He looked like he was going to explode from holding it in.
“Officers why don’t you come in and have a seat. I recorded the entire incident on my phone. If you want to see what happened, watch my big screen TV, and all your questions will be answered.” He looked puzzled. Here I was actually helping them do their job. Cops love video evidence, because it’s so much harder to lie. I started my little video.
“I never touched my cheating cunt of a wife. Her lover and I were in a bit of an altercation. He nailed me, and I just returned the favor. I wish I could have planned what happened, but it was truly an accident. I wanted to fight some more, but the bastard went out of my window.”
“Well sir. Neither one died.” The cop told me.
“Damn the luck!” I smiled.
Both cops watched what happened, and both at the same time asked me, “Are you pressing charges?” I guess they saw things kinda the way I did too.
“Oh come on guys. I’m not that guy. I’m not, unless he does. I’ll probably have to pay for his medical expenses.”
“Nope. He refused all medical attention. He took the blanket and walked home. In my opinion, you are off the hook for his medical. Lawyers might say different. But your wife is going to be another matter. She landed face down in the roses, so she’s got a bunch of small cuts. Are you going to press charges for her batting practice on your skull?” The cop smirked.
I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. “No, karma seems to be way better at revenge than I am. Did you see the way she kadıköy escort spun naked out of the window? I almost peed myself laughing. I’m still gonna divorce her, but I can’t stay mad at the dumb bitch. Do you guys know any good divorce lawyers?”
“We are not supposed to recommend any lawyer over any other, but this woman cleaned my clock and made my lawyer look like an amateur.” The cop got me the name and number.
“Thanks guys. Mum’s the word about the mouthpiece and thanks for not jumping to conclusions. If I had not seen it, I wouldn’t have believed it either. Where are they taking my cheating wife?”
“County General. I don’t think she is hurt bad. Just a lot of painful little cuts and bruises. Are you going to see her?”
“No, no, no. I have to pack up. I want to be gone by the time she gets home. I’ve got a lot to do. Thank you gentleman.” They left. I had to get packed up and I moved quickly.
I went to the shark lawyer the next day, and was told the facts of life about being a dad and husband in a no fault state.
But I gotta do it. She’s a cheating bitch. I guess I was just not good enough for her. I had watched the video several times. His equipment was way, way smaller than my own. I was just a bit hurt that he got to buttfuck her perfect ass. I was told NO, no anal ever, in no uncertain terms. Perhaps I was just a bit too…big? I will never know. She had tried to kill me. I’m so glad that she struck out!
I did not realize that when I sent out the video recording to everyone… Well some joker sent it to all the local news stations. With the new technology, all of our faces and genitals were pixelated out. The full video was short enough to be on the news in its entirety. Somehow my name was released. As I tried to get into work I was attacked by reporters who had a thousand questions. Bad news spreads very fast.
“Listen. The video is self explanatory. I caught my wife in the marital bed cheating with my ex-best friend. I’m going to seek a divorce. I’m going to go to the poorhouse, because husbands and dads never, ever win in this state. So my nightmare is just beginning, not ending. She was my world. I am completely devastated by her behavior. I guess she never really loved me at all. Such is life. Now I only have to worry about my children. I guess you got your story. I have to find a one room hovel to live in.
I don’t have much time until my kids are taken away from me. She cheats, I pay. Hell of a system we got here.” Tears rolling down my cheeks as the cameras roll. Not sure anyone gave a damn.
“Sir, did you know that the video has gone crazy on the internet? It’s at two million hits already!” A reporter asked me.
“That’s nice. I guess the cheaters should get the royalties. I only took the video to protect myself in court. I have not got one single dime from the video showing my heart being ripped out. Too bad. The legal fees are going to bankrupt me alone, not counting the money the court will award my cheating wife. My life is ruined. My heart is broken. I’m sorry, I am done here.”
I walked away, head down. I truly believe that I was totally beaten, that I would be penniless for the next fifteen years. The dirty handwriting was on the wall. I was fucked, but good.
I went to work. Nothing else to do.
My lawyer called. My soon- to-be-ex-father-in-law had paid my attorney fees, in full! I was stunned. Why? She asked him the same question. He said his daughter made this mess, and he felt that he should help clean it up. He said he admired me as a good father, and decent husband, and he could not stand by while I was steamrolled by the judicial system. He was also trying to keep his access to his grandchildren open, and made no bones about saying that either. I wouldn’t ever stop them from seeing my children, but he was obviously worried.
“I have no words. My father in law is a stand up guy. I hate to see him on the opposite team, but I do understand his situation. He must be crazy with embarrassment. When things calm down, I’m going to buy him a drink and thank him. Are you ok with what he paid you?”
“More than ok. At the end of this, I will be refunding some money to him. Despite what you may have heard, some lawyers are very honest. I am one of them.” She looked proud of her honesty, as she should be. I was glad to have chosen her to be my attorney.
Two weeks later I had another crazy surprise. I would get the house! I would take care of the children, as long she got liberal visitation. Everything else, 50/50. My lawyer advised me to sign it quickly before she changed her mind! I did just that. Now it was up to the court system. We would be divorced in 90 days roughly. My big day in court never happened. By agreement, no form of therapy would be required. She moved out and I moved back in. I cried as I hugged my kids. I thanked God as I kissed my little ones.
A couple of months had transpired. bostancı escort bayan We were almost divorced. I was sure she was with him. My state of mind had been rough. Those who have been through a divorce know it can be compared to an amputation; one day you’re whole, the next day, you’re chopped apart. At least that is what it feels like. Like I was missing a piece of my heart. I know that sounds so melodramatic, but it is accurate.
She wanted to talk. I really had zero desire to say anything to her, and even less than that to listen to her bullshit lies and dumb rationalizations. Lie to yourself bitch, I don’t want to hear it. After weeks of refusal to move forward, she finally said the magic words to me, albeit through her attorney. She wanted to apologize. I could have said fuck it, lets have it out in court, but truth be told, I did miss the bitch. Crazy huh? I really wanted to hear her apology. I figured that it would be a doozy.
It was like a scene from the Godfather. I sat in a nice little Italian restaurant, waiting for Mindi. The smell of garlic and onion and tomato sauce was like a gentle fragrance from above. Dean Martin was the vocal musical accompaniment. I expected to see the Corleone boys come in in suits. The place was steeped in Italian fare, and the two glasses of dark red Lambrusco I ordered would fit in perfectly. I had an order of calamari on it’s way, as a fine appetizer. I stood up as I saw her and waved her in.
She came in, looking like a million dollars. She had that movie star look, and a shimmering green dress. She had black hose, it looked like real silk, and CFM pumps on her perfect feet. Her skin was 95% healed from the roses not-so-delicate touch, and her long black tresses were glossy, and reminded me of a hair care commercial. She was gorgeous beyond compare. Her eyes just sparkled. She oozed sex appeal. If this were basketball, her actions would be described as a full court press, aimed at my heart, or perhaps my loins! Her huge breasts were braless and her big nipples were trying to penetrate the material of her dress. Her lips were plump and blood red. Her war paint was … delectable. She looked so fantastic. I think she was trying to set the hook, and I was the fish in this story. It’s very nice that she tried, but her real actions belied her apparent desire to make me a trophy catch. This was definitely going to be catch and release. My cock didn’t know that, so I was rock hard.
I sat and gazed at my wife’s face… And said nothing. He who speaks first loses. But in this case, all the cards had already been dealt, and she was doing her best to salvage the situation. For her, this was just damage control. We understood one another. At least I was very aware of her actions at this point. Her motives though, remained a total mystery to me. I was just going to do my best to listen. I guess I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“You look nice.” She ventured. She looked at me up and down. I wondered if she saw my erection.
“You look wonderful. You are still the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. How are you Mindi? You ok?”
“I am… as well as can be expected I suppose. I miss you terribly of course. Do you miss me?” Those simple words shocked me.
“What do you mean?”
“Which ‘you’? The adoring wife and best friend, or the cheating slut, or the very murderous bitch, hell bent on killing me with my own commemorative baseball bat? Did I leave anyone else out?” I smiled blandly at her perfect lips, now with a slight tremble.
“Well you did throw me out the window!” Here it comes, let’s rewrite history to suit her worldview.
“No, sometimes I wish that were true, but no I did not. I watched your ballerina spin, as you gracefully plunged out of the busted window and into our roses. I have it on video if you want to see it.” She smiled a bit. “The picture of your beautiful ass going over the edge of the roof is forever etched upon my mind.” I did have a slight grin. I could not help it.
“We had the
video for two months for my great performance. The lawyer said we will be getting a substantial amount of money from the internet trolls soon. They are ironing out the details now, as we speak.” She said in a low voice.
“That’s only fair. You made them buckets of money!” I noted. “I am sorry for not catching you, and for laughing so hard I almost pissed my pants.” I smiled.
“Actually, I saw the video, and I did the same thing. I never laughed so hard! So I forgive you for all that. I am so sorry for the bat thing. I was just so … fucked-up. I had no right to be mad at you. This was all on me. In fact … I want to apologize here and now for my awful actions that were hurtful and disgusting to you. I have absolutely no excuse. I can only hope that maybe someday you find it in your heart to forgive me for the awful things that I did.” She was looking at the table and the tears ran rampant down those perfect cheeks.
“I have already forgiven you. Well, for the past transgressions anyway. I have a few questions to ask you.”
“Ok, go ahead.” she said reluctantly.
“Do you love me?”
“Yes, with all my heart.”
“Do you love him?”
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