Missed Connections

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Ass

Claudia pokes her head over my partition and says something I can’t understand. I squint at her and take out my earbuds.

“What?”

“Did you see the City Paper today?”

“No, why?”

Claudia comes into my cubicle and drops a newspaper into my lap. I stare at it blankly.

“Am I supposed to know what you’re talking about?”

She snatches the newspaper, highlights a block of text, and hands it back to me. I put my reading glasses on. It’s the Missed Connections section.

WHERE: THE JUKEBOX AT LUCKY’S AUG. 5. YOU: TALL, TOUGH, WITH ROCKIN RED HAIR AND AN OCTOPUS TATTOO. ME: LAME GUY WITH GLASSES WHO WANTED TO ASK YOU OUT BUT WAS IN THE BATHROOM WHEN YOU LEFT. YOU PLAYED A SMITHS SONG THAT BUMMED OUT THE WHOLE ROOM. I KNEW I HAD TO MAKE YOU MINE. MEET ME BACK WHERE IT ALL STARTED AT 10 PM FRIDAY.

“Well? Is it you?”

“What day of the week is that?”

“Thursday. But it’s obviously you. Are you going to meet up with him? You have to.”

“Okay, hold your horses. What kind of creep puts out a Missed Connections ad? You saw a hot stranger. Great. The world is full of hot strangers. Move on.”

“He called himself lame, which means he’s self-aware. And that decreases his creep potential exponentially.”

“What kind of math is that?”

“It’s not math. It’s chemistry.”

“Oh my God. What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m insanely jealous! This is right out of a romcom. If you don’t go, I will murder you. And let’s be honest, you’re going to be there anyway.”

I sigh and tear out the ad.

“Alright, alright. If he’s horrible, I’m taking it out on you.”

“More like you’ll be asking me to be a bridesmaid at your tastefully appointed September wedding on the Cape.”

“I hate you.”

“Smooches, babe! Text me when it’s over.”

I tentatively walk downstairs to the basement bar. I’m suddenly embarrassed that I’m so dressed up. I never get dressed up to come here, and I feel like everyone escort bostancı is staring.

I scan the room. I don’t see a man with glasses anywhere. I’m embarrassed all over again. A scruffy but cute guy with thick black frames waves his arms at me from a table near the back. I breathe a sigh of relief.

I shake off my nerves and head over to the table. I sit down, cross my legs, and extend my hand.

“I’m Yael. And you must be Mr. Lame Glasses.”

He shakes my hand firmly. His eyes sparkle, and he has a warm smile.

“You can call me Gideon. You look amazing, by the way.”

I wave my hand dismissively.

“Oh, this old thing? I woke up like this.”

“I bet songbirds dress you in the morning.”

“I actually have helper mice. Can I ask you a question?”

“Ask me anything.”

“Why did you run a Missed Connections listing? How did you know I would even read it?”

Gideon pauses.

“Well, I guess I didn’t. But I thought you were worth taking a chance on.”

I smile despite myself.

“You’re not what I expected.”

“What did you expect?”

“I don’t know. I’m not much of a romantic, and the ad made it sound like you had some kind of fantasy image of me in your head. I’ll be honest, I thought you sounded weird.”

“What makes you think I’m not that guy?”

“I don’t know. A feeling. You have something welcoming about you. Good energy.”

“That’s a nice thing to say. I hope it’s true. But you’re right about my intentions. I just wanted to talk to you because I thought you looked interesting. That’s all.”

“I’m really glad Claudia made me come out tonight.”

“Me too. Whoever Claudia is.”

“Romeo & Juliet” comes on the jukebox. I touch my heart ecstatically.

“I love Dire Straits. They’re my go-to driving music.”

Gideon stands up and offers me his hand.

“Would you like to dance?”

“I’d love to.”

Gideon leads ümraniye escort me to the small floor dance floor and puts his hand on the small of my back. I take his other hand in mine. He pulls me close. My stomach churns with butterflies.

“I can’t even remember the last time I slow danced,” I say. “Maybe a wedding.”

“Pretend we’re at a middle school dance. The DJ is playing K-Ci & JoJo, and your drunk gym teacher is staring.”

“I didn’t go to dances in middle school.”

“I did, but the girls weren’t very interested in dancing with me.”

“Aw. I bet you were adorable.”

“I really wasn’t. I’m not being modest. I had a bowl cut, and I played a lot of Magic.”

“I still would’ve danced with you.”

“I bet you were one of those cool rocker girls that wore black lipstick and Doc Martens.”

I don’t know what comes over me, but I kiss him. It’s sweet and tender. I get that twinkling feeling deep inside me. I rest my head on his shoulder.

“I need to tell you something,” he says.

“Oh God.”

“I didn’t write that ad.”

I pull back slightly.

“What?”

“When I saw you looking around, I assumed you got stood up so I took a shot. What I said before was true. I just thought you looked like an interesting person and I wanted to have a drink with you. I don’t know why I didn’t tell the truth earlier. It’s stupid.”

“It’s cool. Really. I’m glad you did it.” I pause. “And I guess I did get stood up. Wow, what a shitty thing to do! I didn’t even want to come out here!”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Gideon gazes at me with a half-smile. “You know, I get it. If I saw you on the street, I’d write a Missed Connections too.”

“No you wouldn’t.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

Gideon kisses me again. I put my arms around his neck.

“My apartment is a couple blocks from here,” he says. “I have a pretty great record collection. I even have Brothers in Arms.”

“Do you have kartal escort bayan the first album?”

“What’s it called?”

“Dire Straits.”

“I do not.”

“Hmm. I guess I can still come over.”

“Splendid! Shall we?”

“Lead the way.”

The two of us walk to Gideon’s apartment hand-in-hand, and we don’t stop talking the whole time. It’s like we’ve known each other for years. We tear each other’s clothes off as soon as we walk in the door.

We tumble to the floor together and roll around in our underwear. I play with his chest hair and cradle the back of his head in my hand. He kisses me like he’s never wanted anything more.

“I don’t usually do this,” he says. “I really like you. And I don’t want you to think… you know.”

I kiss his nose. I kiss his eyelids.

“I kind of do this a lot. But I don’t give a fuck about those guys.”

He unhooks my bra, and my breasts hang down. He holds them in his hands. Licks them. Sucks them. I rub against his bulge until the crotch of my panties is soaked.

He lifts his hips off the ground and slides out of his boxer briefs. I take off my underwear too. I get on top and he slides right in. I gasp. I’m short of breath. I can already feel the orgasm brimming inside me.

Gideon holds my hips and swirls his cock. I reach behind me and play with his balls. They tighten in my palm.

I lean back, rest my weight on my hands, and fuck him hard. We find our rhythm effortlessly. He reaches forward and plays with my clitoris until the pleasure rings like a bell. A wave of euphoria washes over me. I climax.

Gideon sits up and holds me tight. He gathers speed. He kisses my neck, kisses my ear. I feel a tsunami rise in me. We hold each other tight. We cum together.

We lie together on the floor, naked and deliriously happy. My head is on his chest and he’s playing with my hair. I idly stroke his happy trail.

“What’s your go-to album for after sex?”

Gideon gets up and goes over to the turntable. I watch his ass as he walks away.

He drops the needle and lies back down with me. I snuggle up under his arm. The record pops and crackles, and the sound of “Space Oddity” fills the room.

“Perfect.”

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